Grappling with God in guilt
I recently attended the thanksgiving service for Daniel at my church. Daniel was a disabled man and had suffered a second stroke. He died leaving behind his wife and son.
The thanksgiving was a sad occasion. To be honest, I felt like an imposter. Do you know why?
It was because I can only remember speaking to Daniel once.
The apostle James says that we should show no favouritism as a church family (James 2:1). Like any other family we are to love each other and look out for each other.
So why didn’t I do this for Daniel?
Why did I only speak to Daniel once when I’ve been in that church for nearly three years?
God has convicted me that I have favourites. I decide who to talk to based on how they look. I decide how much time to spend with people depending on how they treat me.
But I know that in my heart this isn’t right. And after Daniel’s death, the truth is that my heart condemns me.
Freedom to Change
In my guilt, I’ve found myself crying out to God to forgive me and to bring change.
You too may have feelings of guilt or condemnation or self-loathing over your own sin. But let’s never get bored of the apostle Paul’s words to guilt-ridden Christians:
“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)
Do you believe this? Do you trust God that since your sin’s punishment has been dealt with, you are no longer guilty?
God was kind to remind me of his forgiveness through this verse. And his kindness goes further in using this freedom from condemnation to bring about change in my life.
The same is true for you.