Mourning on Mother's Day


My mother had already died when I first became aware of Mother’s Day. Radio stations would play songs celebrating mothers and I would curl up and cry.

And then I became a mum – just a few weeks before Mother’s Day.

I struggled with the celebrations because I still missed my own mum so much. And I know I’m not the only one.

Real loss

Some of us haven’t been able to have children. Some have lost their babies. Some don’t have contact with their children. Some have children unable to communicate their love to them.

The pain may not only be on Mother’s Day but whenever someone announces a pregnancy, or when we hear a new-born’s cry.

So what can we do when, once a year, the world splashes ‘motherhood’ on every TV advert and shop window? Do we smile on the outside whilst wrestling with our emotions? Do we allow our pain to swamp us?

My friends had some good advice – they encouraged me to dig deeper and look to God.

So I did.

Real hope

I cried to my heavenly father for help: help me grieve my mother well. Help me find a way to talk to my children about her. Help me let other women in. Help me not to feel jealousy.

I poured out my heart like water in the presence of the Lord (Lamentations 2:19) and met a God who not only cared but understood my loss.

He knows the pain of a broken family because he lost his own Son (John 3:16). He weeps with us.

So this Mother’s Day, and every day, I know that I’m not alone (Psalm 34:18). And even better, I can look forward to a future with no more loss and no more tears (Revelation 21:4).