When I prayed with Sam Smith
Have you ever been at the end of yourself?
That moment when you realise that what you’re living for isn't getting you where you want to be.
I have. And so has Sam Smith.
Car load of broken dreams
For me it was in the first week at university.
I arrived at halls with a car load of expectation - of perfect relationships, fulfilling classes, endless success.
But what happened? Unable to bare the weight of my hopes, it all came crashing down.
And in the first verse of his song Pray, Sam Smith sings about something similar:
I'm young and I'm foolish, I've made bad decisions
I block out the news, turn my back on religion
Don't have no degree, I'm somewhat naive
I've made it this far on my own
But lately, that s**t ain't been gettin' me higher
I lift up my head and the world is on fire
There's dread in my heart and fear in my bones
And I just don't know what to say
In those first days of university, I didn't know what to say.
But then I met a friend. And she told me to do something which I hadn't done in years.
To meet with God.
Again, Sam Smith knows what I am talking about:
You won't find me in church (no) reading the Bible (no)
I am still here and I'm still your disciple
I'm down on my knees, I'm beggin' you, please
I'm broken, alone, and afraid
I'm not a saint, I'm more of a sinner
I don't wanna lose, but I fear for the winners
When I try to explain, the words run away
That's why I am stood here today
And so in those first days at university, that’s where I stood.
And so I prayed. I prayed. And I prayed.
In my loneliness and despair, I prayed with Sam Smith 'for a glimmer of hope'.
As I did, the one who first shone light across the galaxies shone the light of Christ's glory into my heart (2 Corinthians 4:6).
I don't know if he has for Sam Smith, but I pray he would.