Among the ruins

Where are you?
Will you sit with me?
No, may I sit with you?

Let me sit with you
Tell me who I am
I don’t remember

No, tell me who you are
Remind me where to find you
I am dust in the dirt
I am dirt in the ruins

My head sits heavy on my shoulders
I can’t lift it, not even to cry
Can’t raise it up enough
To look people in the eye

There’s a scoliosis of emotion
Twisting sinews in my spine
Till I’m crooked, curving in
A navel-gazing, solitary
Bird on the roof

My skin is pale
From lack of sunlight
My stomach churns
A burnt out lump of ashes
Pouring out of my mouth

I’ve become a figure of pity amongst my friends
I am embarrassed to be around them
My faith often seems stupid
Even to me

I thought that it was finished
That I was done with being punished
But my depression grows
A little more ferocious every day

Wherever I sit, there are stones
When I lie down in bed
My head rests on broken glass
I have no peace
I’m tired but I cannot sleep

How long will you make me wait?
I don’t have the patience to endure this
How long will you make me wait?

Come back
Come back and be done with me
With all of this

I’m homesick for a house
I’ve only heard about
I’m ready now
Come back

Come back

I know you hear me
But I feel
I feel like an owl
Alone among the ruins